Plan Your Wedding Music

Planning Your Wedding Music

After talking to hundreds of brides we see a range of experiences
with music but generally, everyone needs help figuring out the kind
of music they’d like for their wedding, finding performers and
coordinating all the planning. Many couples are starting from
scratch planning something like this and don’t know where to start.
Others have family members giving them guidance or actually doing
the planning for them. The following is some general information to
think about in planning wedding music to suit your needs.

Start planning the music at least 6 months in advance. If you are
getting married in the busiest wedding seasons, particularly May-
June you might find the musicians you want already booked. Here
in Asheville, North Carolina the fall is also a busy wedding season
as many couples come to the mountains specifically for their
wedding around the peak fall leaf season (October). Other areas of
the country may have busy seasons as well so think about your
location and be sure you have enough time to find the musicians
you want.

As mentioned above, the location may determine how busy wedding
vendors are. But when thinking of live music, the location may also
determine the type of music you might have available. If you are
getting married on top of a mountain you won’t get a piano up
there! A solo performer like a guitarist or ensemble with very
portable instruments (flute, violin) may work. Some churches are
specific in the type of music they allow (no secular music) while
others have fewer restrictions. Some locations may have specific
musicians they recommend or require a booking fee included in the
contract with musicians. Talk to your contact at the location you
have chosen to see any requirements they may have. Some
hotels, inns and restaurants will give you a list of local musicians to
contact while others may leave you on your own.

While there is a lot of tradition associated with weddings, every one
does not have to include the Wagner Bridal March (Here Comes the
Bride) and the Mendelssohn Bridal Chorus (There Goes the Bride)!
There are many other familiar classical pieces to choose from which
are frequently included in wedding ceremonies. Suggestions will be
listed at the end of this page.
Today, people are buying CDs and books of wedding music and
searching the Internet for suggestions. However, choosing music
that way is often difficult. It may or may not be in your musician’s
repertoire and it might not suit their instruments. A harpist cannot do
much with the Halleluiah Chorus and a solo violinist cannot do a
symphony. Most musicians who play for weddings regularly will
have a demo tape for you to listen to. These include short
segments of music they already know to give you ideas for your
wedding. There may be an extra charge for musicians to learn new
music and they will have time requirements. Don’t expect them to
find music and learn new pieces at the last minute. The musicians
you have chosen can tell you what their instruments can do and
what would be the right combination of music and performers for
your wedding.

In our area, we generally play for 20 to 30 minutes before a
wedding This sets the mood and keeps people’s attention as you
are getting everything ready. It also helps fill in when things are
delayed. Hopefully, your wedding won’t be too delayed but things
happen. It is great to be able to have the wedding director cue the
musicians about any delays so they can fill in with other music. It’s
usually a matter of 5 to 10 minute delays because guests have
arrived late or the flower girl refuses to walk up the aisle. Pre-
wedding music specifics are generally determined by the repertoire
of your musicians. They can learn a new song or two for you but
generally can’t learn a new repertoire every weekend. Give them
ideas of the type of music you’d like or choose from their song list.
Save your energy for the important choices.

Starting time: Some people try to plan the exact time specific pieces
will be played. However, there are always things that change the
day of the wedding. You can’t control when all the guests will be in
there place as people get lost or delayed. It seems to work best for
me to arrange a starting time for pre-wedding music and then have
the wedding director cue me when to start the special selections.
That way, if things are running late, I know to keep playing pre-
wedding music until things are ready. Sometimes I arrange a hand
signal for the director to give me from the back of the church to let
me know things are late.

Brides often pick a song to be played as their Moms or
Grandmothers are seated. This is generally the beginning of the
special music choices. Seating of Mothers, Grandmothers, other
special people

Lighting of unity candle or other candles may be before or during
the ceremony. I’ve played for a number of weddings where the two
sets of parents lit candles just before the wedding began. This can
be during the general pre-wedding music.

For the processional consider how many couples are in your
wedding party. For small weddings, you may pick one piece of music
to be played for the entrance of the entire wedding party (minister,
groom, groomsmen, bridesmaids and bride). If you have a longer
distance to walk or more than say, 3 couples, you might want to
pick a separate piece of music for the rest of the wedding party and
something different for the bride. You can then have a contrast in
type of music as the bride enters. You don’t have to worry about
timing how fast to walk or total time for the bridal party to enter. If
you pick music that can be prolonged or ended fairly easily, the
musician can usually watch the wedding party and wrap up the
music after people are in their places. This works best since timing
doesn’t usually work when everyone is under pressure the day of
the wedding. The musician just needs cues from the wedding
director or any designated individual as to when to start the various
pieces of music.

Many people do not use any additional special music during the
service but that is up to you. Some people have family members
sing or perform special pieces, others want professional singers
performing classic pieces (Ave Maria, Lord’s Prayer). In most
instances, this is up to you. There are, however, some churches
that will specify the types of music allowed or want to review your
selections.

For recessional music I usually meet with the minister and find out
the very last thing he/she will say. (I introduce…You may kiss…) I
usually suggest some lively piece to be played as the whole bridal
party exits. Things usually move pretty fast at this point. If you want
to have ushers walk special people, like grandparents and parents,
out afterwards, the musician may play throughout this period.

Most musicians charge an additional fee to attend rehearsals. It is
time they could be performing somewhere else. Generally, I have
found I had nothing to do at rehearsals since so many other things
were being worked out. Discuss with your musician if this would be
something useful. If not, save yourself some money and plan by
phone, email or in person. You can select music by reviewing demo
tapes or meeting with the musician. Then plan the specifics of your
ceremony and review the sequence of music and any special
considerations.

Be sure you
have enough
time to find the
musicians you
want.

Talk to your
contact at the
location you
have chosen
to see any
requirements
they may have.

The musicians
you have
chosen can tell
you what their
instruments
can do and
what would be
the right
combination
for your
wedding.

Performers
can play as
the guests
are arriving.

have the
wedding
selections.wedd
ing .director to
start director to
start the special
selections.

Seating of
Mothers,
Grandmothers
and other
special people
is generally
done at the
beginning of
the special
music choices

For the
processional
consider how
many couples
are in your
wedding party.

Additional
special music
during the
ceremony is up
to you and your
place of
worship.

At this point, the
pressure is off
and you can
relax and enjoy
the party!

Be sure
someone has
been identified
who will give
cues the day of
the wedding and
convey any
change of plans.

Some general
information to
think about in
planning
wedding music